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The true goal of anger management isn’t to suppress feelings of anger, but rather to understand the message behind the emotion and express it in a healthy way without losing control. Anger will come out regardless of how hard you try to tamp it down. But never getting angry is not a healthy goal. Many people think that anger management is about learning to suppress your anger.
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Even if someone is pushing your buttons, you always have a choice about how to respond. And you can communicate your feelings without being verbally or physically abusive. Anger isn’t something you can control.įact: You can’t always control the situation you’re in or how it makes you feel, but you can control how you express your anger. Others will be more willing to listen to you and accommodate your needs if you communicate in a respectful way. People may be afraid of you, but they won’t respect you if you can’t control yourself or handle opposing viewpoints. Myth: Anger, aggression, and intimidation help me earn respect and get what I want.įact: Respect doesn’t come from bullying others. In fact, outbursts and tirades only fuel the fire and reinforce your anger problem. Anger is not something you have to “let out” in an aggressive way in order to avoid blowing up. It’s healthy to vent and let it out.įact: While it’s true that suppressing and ignoring anger is unhealthy, venting is no better. With insight about the real reasons for your anger and these anger management tools, you can learn to express your emotions without hurting others and keep your temper from hijacking your life. But you have more control over your anger than you think. If you have a hot temper, you may feel like it’s out of your hands and there’s little you can do to tame the beast. Explosive anger makes it hard for others to trust you, speak honestly, or feel comfortable-and is especially damaging to children. Anger can cause lasting scars in the people you love most and get in the way of friendships and work relationships.
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But lashing out only alienates your colleagues, supervisors, or clients and erodes their respect. Constructive criticism, creative differences, and heated debate can be healthy. It can also lead to stress, depression, and other mental health problems. Mental health. Chronic anger consumes huge amounts of mental energy, and clouds your thinking, making it harder to concentrate or enjoy life.Constantly operating at high levels of stress and anger makes you more susceptible to heart disease, diabetes, a weakened immune system, insomnia, and high blood pressure. Effects of angerĬhronic anger that flares up all the time or spirals out of control can have serious consequences for your: But the truth is that anger is much more likely to have a negative impact on the way people see you, impair your judgment, and get in the way of success. You might think that venting your anger is healthy, that the people around you are too sensitive, that your anger is justified, or that you need to show your fury to get respect. So, while it’s perfectly normal to feel angry when you’ve been mistreated or wronged, anger becomes a problem when you express it in a way that harms yourself or others. If your knee-jerk reaction to anger is to explode, however, that message never has a chance to be conveyed. Like any emotion, it conveys a message, telling you that a situation is upsetting, unjust, or threatening. Understanding angerĪnger is a normal, healthy emotion, neither good nor bad. Communication Anger Management Is your temper hijacking your life? These tips and techniques can help you get anger under control and express your feelings in healthier ways.